diff --git a/lib/relations/manyToMany/ManyToManyModifyMixin.js b/lib/relations/manyToMany/ManyToManyModifyMixin.js
index 93f741d93..c835d6777 100644
--- a/lib/relations/manyToMany/ManyToManyModifyMixin.js
+++ b/lib/relations/manyToMany/ManyToManyModifyMixin.js
@@ -1,6 +1,10 @@
 'use strict';
 
 const { ManyToManyFindOperation } = require('./find/ManyToManyFindOperation');
+const { isMySql } = require('../../utils/knexUtils');
+
+const FindByIdSelector = /^findByIds?$/;
+const RelateUnrelateSelector = /relate$/;
 
 // This mixin contains the shared code for all modify operations (update, delete, relate, unrelate)
 // for ManyToManyRelation operations.
@@ -26,7 +30,7 @@ const ManyToManyModifyMixin = (Operation) => {
     onBuild(builder) {
       this.modifyFilterSubquery = this.createModifyFilterSubquery(builder);
 
-      if (this.modifyMainQuery) {
+      if (this.modifyMainQuery && this.modifyFilterSubquery) {
         // We can now remove the where and join statements from the main query.
         this.removeFiltersFromMainQuery(builder);
 
@@ -38,6 +42,21 @@ const ManyToManyModifyMixin = (Operation) => {
     }
 
     createModifyFilterSubquery(builder) {
+      // Check if the subquery is needed (it may be not if there are no operations other than findById(s) on the main query)
+      // and only if passed builder belongs to joinTableModelClass
+      if (builder.modelClass() === this.relation.joinTableModelClass) {
+        const checkQuery = builder
+          .clone()
+          .toFindQuery()
+          .modify(this.relation.modify)
+          .clear(RelateUnrelateSelector)
+          .clear(FindByIdSelector)
+          .clearOrder();
+        if (checkQuery.isSelectAll()) {
+          return null;
+        }
+      }
+
       const relatedModelClass = this.relation.relatedModelClass;
       const builderClass = builder.constructor;
 
@@ -71,6 +90,12 @@ const ManyToManyModifyMixin = (Operation) => {
     }
 
     applyModifyFilterForJoinTable(builder) {
+      const builderWithTriggerFix = this.applyManyToManyRelationTriggerFix(builder);
+      // null here means fix is not applicable
+      if (builderWithTriggerFix !== null) {
+        return builderWithTriggerFix;
+      }
+
       const joinTableOwnerRefs = this.relation.joinTableOwnerProp.refs(builder);
       const joinTableRelatedRefs = this.relation.joinTableRelatedProp.refs(builder);
 
@@ -84,6 +109,70 @@ const ManyToManyModifyMixin = (Operation) => {
         .whereInComposite(joinTableOwnerRefs, ownerValues);
     }
 
+    /**
+     * Workaround for ER_CANT_UPDATE_USED_TABLE_IN_SF_OR_TRG mysql error
+     * when a trigger on join table was operating on the related table
+     * - targeting mysql only
+     * - we return null if this fix is not applicable!
+     * - filters/modify on join table of m2m relations
+     * - if subquery is not needed at all (e.g. a query with just a findById(s) operation - usually coming from graph upsert) - skip it
+     * - otherwise extract a subquery reading related ids to separate query run before the delete query for m2m unrelate operation
+     *
+     * This is an upgraded (to objection v3) version of:
+     * - https://github.com/ovos/objection.js/pull/3
+     * - https://github.com/ovos/objection.js/pull/1
+     * Originally based on:
+     * - https://github.com/ovos/objection.js/pull/2
+     */
+    applyManyToManyRelationTriggerFix(builder) {
+      // this workaround is only needed for MySQL
+      if (!isMySql(builder.knex())) {
+        return null;
+      }
+
+      if (this.modifyFilterSubquery && builder.isFind()) {
+        return null;
+      }
+
+      const joinTableOwnerRefs = this.relation.joinTableOwnerProp.refs(builder);
+      const joinTableRelatedRefs = this.relation.joinTableRelatedProp.refs(builder);
+      const ownerValues = this.owner.getProps(this.relation);
+
+      if (this.modifyFilterSubquery) {
+        // if subquery is used (in a non-find query):
+        // extract the subquery selecting related ids to separate query run before the main query
+        // to avoid ER_CANT_UPDATE_USED_TABLE_IN_SF_OR_TRG mysql error
+        // when executing a db trigger on a join table which updates related table
+        const relatedRefs = this.relation.relatedProp.refs(builder);
+        const subquery = this.modifyFilterSubquery.clone().select(relatedRefs);
+
+        builder
+          .runBefore(() => subquery.execute())
+          .runBefore((related, builder) => {
+            if (!related.length) {
+              builder.resolve([]);
+              return;
+            }
+            builder.whereInComposite(
+              joinTableRelatedRefs,
+              related.map((m) => m.$values(this.relation.relatedProp.props))
+            );
+          });
+      } else if (builder.parentQuery()) {
+        // if subquery is not used:
+        // rewrite findById(s) from related table to join table
+        builder.parentQuery().forEachOperation(FindByIdSelector, (op) => {
+          if (op.name === 'findByIds') {
+            builder.whereInComposite(joinTableRelatedRefs, op.ids);
+          } else {
+            builder.whereComposite(joinTableRelatedRefs, op.id);
+          }
+        });
+      }
+
+      return builder.whereInComposite(joinTableOwnerRefs, ownerValues);
+    }
+
     toFindOperation() {
       return new ManyToManyFindOperation('find', {
         relation: this.relation,