diff --git a/.changeset/six-dingos-add.md b/.changeset/six-dingos-add.md
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..5bd4667831c2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.changeset/six-dingos-add.md
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+---
+'astro': patch
+---
+
+Fix CLI node version check
diff --git a/packages/astro/astro.js b/packages/astro/astro.js
index b873016bcb44..1fcf633a9f28 100755
--- a/packages/astro/astro.js
+++ b/packages/astro/astro.js
@@ -4,7 +4,6 @@
 
 // ISOMORPHIC FILE: NO TOP-LEVEL IMPORT/REQUIRE() ALLOWED
 // This file has to run as both ESM and CJS on older Node.js versions
-// Assume ESM to start, and then call `require()` below once CJS is confirmed.
 // Needed for Stackblitz: https://github.com/stackblitz/webcontainer-core/issues/281
 
 const CI_INSTRUCTIONS = {
@@ -14,64 +13,41 @@ const CI_INSTRUCTIONS = {
 	VERCEL: 'https://vercel.com/docs/runtimes#official-runtimes/node-js/node-js-version',
 };
 
+// Hardcode supported Node.js version so we don't have to read differently in CJS & ESM.
+const engines = '>=16.12.0';
+const skipSemverCheckIfAbove = 16;
+
 /** `astro *` */
 async function main() {
-	// Check for ESM support.
-	// Load the "supports-esm" package in an way that works in both ESM & CJS.
-	let supportsESM =
-		typeof require !== 'undefined'
-			? require('supports-esm')
-			: (await import('supports-esm')).default;
-
-	// Check for CJS->ESM named export support.
-	// "path-to-regexp" is a real-world package that we depend on, that only
-	// works in later versions of Node with advanced CJS->ESM support.
-	// If `import {compile} from 'path-to-regexp'` will fail, we need to know.
-	if (supportsESM) {
-		const testNamedExportsModule = await import('path-to-regexp');
-		supportsESM = !!testNamedExportsModule.compile;
-	}
-
-	// Preflight check complete. Enjoy! ✨
-	if (supportsESM) {
-		return import('./dist/cli/index.js')
-			.then(({ cli }) => cli(process.argv))
-			.catch((error) => {
-				console.error(error);
-				process.exit(1);
-			});
-	}
-
 	const version = process.versions.node;
-
-	// Not supported (incomplete ESM): It's very difficult (impossible?) to load the
-	// dependencies below in an unknown module type. If `require` is undefined, then this file
-	// actually was run as ESM but one of the ESM preflight checks above failed. In that case,
-	// it's okay to hard-code the valid Node versions here since they will not change over time.
-	if (typeof require === 'undefined') {
-		console.error(`\nNode.js v${version} is not supported by Astro!
-Please upgrade to a supported version of Node.js: ">=16.12.0"\n`);
+	// Fast-path for higher Node.js versions
+	if ((parseInt(version) || 0) <= skipSemverCheckIfAbove) {
+		try {
+			const semver = await import('semver');
+			if (!semver.satisfies(version, engines)) {
+				await errorNodeUnsupported();
+				return;
+			}
+		} catch {
+			await errorNodeUnsupported();
+			return;
+		}
 	}
 
-	// Not supported: Report the most helpful error message possible.
-	const pkg = require('./package.json');
-	const ci = require('ci-info');
-	const semver = require('semver');
-	const engines = pkg.engines.node;
+	return import('./dist/cli/index.js')
+		.then(({ cli }) => cli(process.argv))
+		.catch((error) => {
+			console.error(error);
+			process.exit(1);
+		});
+}
 
-	// TODO: Remove "semver" in Astro v1.0: This is mainly just to check our work. Once run in
-	// the wild for a bit without error, we can assume our engine range is correct and won't
-	// change over time.
-	const isSupported = semver.satisfies(version, engines);
-	if (isSupported) {
-		console.error(`\nNode.js v${version} is not supported by Astro!
-Supported versions: ${engines}\n
-Issue Detected! This Node.js version was expected to work, but failed a system check.
-Please file an issue so that we can take a look: https://github.com/withastro/astro/issues/new\n`);
-	} else {
-		console.error(`\nNode.js v${version} is not supported by Astro!
+async function errorNodeUnsupported() {
+	console.error(`\
+Node.js v${process.versions.node} is not supported by Astro!
 Please upgrade Node.js to a supported version: "${engines}"\n`);
-	}
+
+	const ci = typeof require !== 'undefined' ? require('ci-info') : await import('ci-info');
 
 	// Special instructions for CI environments, which may have special steps needed.
 	// This is a common issue that we can help users with proactively.