chef

##!/usr/bin/perl
## Swedish Chef filter. Bork Bork Bork!
## Copyright 1999 by Joey Hess under the terms of the GNU GPL.
#
## Note that the order of the commands in this program is very important!
#sub borkify {$_ = @_[0];
## Change 'e' at the end of a word to 'e-a', but don't mess with the word
## "the".
#s{(\w+)e(\b)}{
#	if (lc($1) ne 'th') {
#		"$1e-a$2"
#	}
#	else {
#		"$1e$2"
#	}
#}eg;
#
## Stuff that happens at the end of a word.
#s/en(\b)/ee$1/g;
#s/th(\b)/t$1/g;
#
## Stuff that happens if not the first letter of a word.
#s/(\w)f/$1ff/g;
#
## Change 'o' to 'u' and at the same time, change 'u' to 'oo'. But only
## if it's not the first letter of the word.
#tr/ou/uo/;
#s{(\b)([uo])}{
#	$1 . $2 eq 'o' ? 'u' : 'o'
#}eg;
## Note that this also handles doubling "oo" at the beginning of words.
#s/o/oo/g;
## Have to double "Oo" seperatly.
#s/(\b)O(\w)/$1Oo$2/g;
## Fix the word "bork", which will have been mangled to "burk"
## by above commands. Note that any occurence of "burk" in the input
## gets changed to "boork", so it's completly safe to do this:
#s/\b([Bb])urk\b/$1ork/g;
#
## Stuff to do to letters that are the first letter of any word.
#s/\be/i/g;
#s/\bE/I/g;
#
## Stuff that always happens.
#s/tiun/shun/g; # this actually has the effect of changing "tion" to "shun".
#s/the/zee/g;
#s/The/Zee/g;
#tr/vVwW/fFvV/;
#
## Stuff to do to letters that are not the last letter of a word.
#s/a(?!\b)/e/g;
#s/A(?!\b)/E/g;
#
#s/en/un/g; # this actually has the effect of changing "an" to "un".
#s/En/Un/g; # this actually has the effect of changing "An" to "Un".
#s/eoo/oo/g; # this actually has the effect of changing "au" to "oo".
#s/Eoo/Oo/g; # this actually has the effect of changing "Au" to "Oo".
#
## Change "ow" to "oo".
#s/uv/oo/g;
#
## Change 'i' to 'ee', but not at the beginning of a word,
## and only affect the first 'i' in each word.
#s/(\b\w[a-hj-zA-HJ-Z]*)i/$1ee/g;
#
## Special punctuation of the end of sentances but only at end of lines.
#s/([.?!])$/$1\nBork Bork Bork!/g;
#return $_;
#}
#
#@file = <>;
#$file = "";
#for $line (@file) {$file = $file . $line;}
#$file = foo($file);
#
#print $file;
#
#sub foo {
#    my $str = @_[0];
#    if ($str =~ /(.*?)((<.*?>)|(&.*?;))(.*)/s) {
#        $rest = $5;
#        $str = borkify($1) . $2;
#        if ($2 =~ /<script/i) {
#            if ($rest =~ /<\/script/i) {
#                $rest = $& . $';
#                $str .= $`;
#            } else {
#                return $str . $rest;
#            }
#        }
#        $str .= foo($rest);
#        }
#    else {
#        $str = borkify($str);
#        }
#    return $str;
#    }