Deal with bitswap connection race & boxo dependency

[rvagg]

This is blocking a release currently.

#456 (comment)

We've been stuck on a particular boxo commit that got into main but was subsequently reverted. I outlined the situation @ ipfs/boxo#432 (comment); unfortunately we're going to need to deal with this now in order to get other dependencies updated because of the tight coupling that everything has to boxo. The bug isn't trivial, it shows up very regularly in CI and will likely be experienced a lot in the wild.

Likely action that needs to be taken is to fork bitswap out of boxo and maintain it in a separate repo.