Upgrade clap and move to derive

[eserilev]

Issue Addressed

#5087

Proposed Changes

Upgrade clap to v4.5 and move to derive for some better compile time guarantees. It also makes the cli flags easier to reason about and lays the ground work for ingesting cli values from config files

Additional Info

[eserilev]

EDIT:
We found a way to work with both clap derive and clap builder which means we could move to dervie crate by crate, instead of all at once. This will require us to upgrade clap to v4.5 first, Im working on that PR now

[eserilev]

Closing in favor of #5273

I will still be using the work I did here when migrating to clap derive. However we'll be migrating to clap derive on a crate by crate basis, instead of all at once, to make the PRs more manageable